Tuesday, November 22, 2011

New resume item...mouse hunter

*****I apologize in advance for my potty mouth.  I don't normally scream profanity, only while hunting mice.****

All day today the animals have been acting strange. Indy sleeping on the couch curled up with Mulder. Mulder and Indy staring at the window. Anya pawing at the curtains.
Well, about 20 minutes ago I found out why. There was a mouse in the curtins in the front living room window. I discovered it when it crawled across my shoulder as I sat on the couch.
Well, I screamed, jumped off the couch, and ran across the room. Luckily I remembered to grab my phone and called DH for help. He of course could be so much help in Pennsylvania.
He answers the phone and calms me down. Meanwhile, Indy is casually looking at the curtains and rumaging under the couch. The dogs are over by me on the steps. DH is saying that he will get it when he gets home and not to worry it won't come up to the bedroom. I'm in a panic. DH is trying to calm me down some more. I decide that I'm going to get this mouse tonight. I hang up the phone and find a container with a lid.
Now the hunt is on!
I first put the dogs in the playpen because their help would not be so helpful. I pull the couch out from the window. I don't see it on the floor. I start looking in the curtains and there it is. It's clingin to the curtain thinking I can't see it. I get my container ready and slowly pull the curtain so I can get at it. It starts to run up the curtains, but I was too fast. I slammed the container down and have it trapped against the wall. Now I'm trying to figure out how to get the lid on the container without the little fucker getting out. I get it on and start to close the lid and the damn thing jumps for freedom.
I scream, "Holy SHIT!!!!!!!!!!" and throw the container in the air. Mouse, lid, and container go flying. Indy comes running. The dogs sit in the playpen and watch the excitement. The mouse runs across the floor along the wall where the window is and goes behind a box.
I regroup and pick up the container and a stick thingy that goes to a toy or something. I pull the box away from the wall and the mouse just stares at me. Indy rushes to help by going to the other side of the box. I am encouraging Indy to earn her keep. The mouse is now trapped between me and Indy.
I'll be damned if that thing didn't turn and try to hide behind Indy. Do you know what that damn cat does????? She just looks at the mouse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My freakin' cat sits down and just stares at it.
The mouse then turns and looks at me and dares me to come after it. Oh it was on then!!!!
I took that stick thingy and started to poke at it. Now the mouse gets brave and rushes me! I once again ever so bravely scream, "Oh FUCK!!!!!" and back up as fast as I can. The mouse runs back up the curtain and I once again slam the container down on top of it.
Now this little piss ant is brave and starts trying to jump and squeeze its way out. I was too quick this time. I sealed the lid on the container and go downstairs.
I get my shoes on and head outside into the freezing rain. Keep in mind that I am wearing Supergirl pajama, a tie dye t-shirt that doesn't match the pants, and my slip on flats. I head down the street and as I'm trying to figure out how to get the lid off without this mouse jumping out at me, I see a car approaching. I quickly pull the lid off and throw the damn thing in front of the oncoming car.
I return to the house and let the dogs out of the playpen and scold Indy for not earning her keep.
I called DH to let him know that I am alive, but won't be sleeping tonight.
I am now jumping at every sound and every move the animals make. But I guess I can add mouse hunting to my resume.

No comments:

Post a Comment